Everyone asks,
"Why doesn't she just leave?"
But I set out to answer a different question:
"What happens when she does?"
_________________________
For many women, leaving an abusive relationship doesn't mean the abuse ends. It simply changes form. My work focuses on helping survivors navigate ongoing coercive dynamics within the family court system while educating professionals and institutions to better recognize and respond to those dynamics, so women can leave and rebuild their lives.
Everyone asks,
"Why doesn't she just leave?"
But I set out to answer a different question:
"What happens when she does?"
________________________
For many women, leaving an abusive relationship doesn't mean the abuse ends. It simply changes form. My work focuses on helping survivors navigate ongoing coercive dynamics within the family court system while educating professionals and institutions to better recognize and respond to those dynamics, so women can leave and rebuild their lives.
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THE STORY BEHIND THE QUESTION
I didn't set out to study why women stay.
I wanted to understand what happens when they leave.
_________________________
Many survivors leave abusive relationships believing the abuse will finally end. But for many, it doesn't. Instead, it changes form, continuing through patterns of post-separation coercive control that can extend into the family court process.
For survivors navigating separation or divorce, the family court system can be essential to obtaining protection, financial relief, and arrangements that allow them and their children to move forward. Yet the legal process can also become another setting in which an abusive former partner continues to exert control.
At the heart of my work is a critical issue: how the institutional norms, practices, and responses of the family court system to post-separation coercive control can affect survivors' ability to leave abusive relationships and rebuild their lives.
It raises a troubling question:
What happens when the very system survivors turn to for protection becomes another setting in which their abuse continues?
For me, that question wasn't hypothetical.
I believed that setting boundaries, and ultimately leaving an abusive relationship, would bring the abuse to an end. I believed the rights afforded to me under the law would provide protection through the family court system.
What I encountered instead was a continuation of coercive control, now unfolding through the very system I had turned to for relief.
That experience led me to begin an investigation that would ultimately shape the direction of my professional work.
RESEARCH & PUBLICATIONS
I went looking for answers.
_________________________
I often joke that while some people turn to a box of chocolates or pick up the phone when life becomes overwhelming, I turn to the peer-reviewed literature and in this case, the law.
And that's exactly what I did.
I began examining what researchers across multiple disciplines had discovered about post-separation coercive control, alongside the laws and institutional practices governing family court proceedings.
That investigation led me to produce a 35-page research synthesis citing 28 multidisciplinary sources, including peer-reviewed literature and New Jersey law.
What began as an effort to understand my own experience evolved into a broader examination of the challenges survivors encounter when attempting to leave abusive relationships and rebuild their lives.
THE PODCAST
The research led me to the people living it.
_________________________
My investigation didn't stop with the literature.
I went on to interview nearly 100 survivors and leading experts, including Lundy Bancroft, Dr. James Ptacek, Margaret B. Drew, Esq., Erica Sussman, Esq., Dr. Brandy Johnson, Dr. Hsiu-Fen Lin, Cynthia Amezcua, Esq., and others to better understand survivors' experiences and the institutional responses they encountered.
These conversations expanded my understanding of how coercive control can continue after separation and how the family court system can affect survivors' ability to move forward.
And they reinforced something important:
This isn't simply an individual problem. It's a systemic one.
FROM RESEARCH TO ACTION: THE RESPONSE
Understanding the problem was only the beginning.
_________________________
What began as a personal experience evolved into a body of research, conversations, and professional work focused on post-separation coercive control and the institutional response of the family court system.
Today, as a Social Researcher & Policy Analyst, former paralegal, Founder & CEO of Crystal Fedeli Collective, LLC, and an award-winning 501(c)(3) nonprofit Founder & Executive Director of You Made a Way, I work to translate my research and lived experience into meaningful education, strategic support, and opportunities for institutional change.
My work follows two complementary pathways.
Family Court Navigation
_________________________
Helping survivors navigate more strategically.
Through my consulting practice, I help women document patterns of coercive control without becoming overwhelmed, clarify their objectives, organize relevant information for attorney review, and navigate ongoing coercive dynamics more deliberately.
Speaking & Training
_________________________
Helping professionals and institutions respond more effectively.
Through research-informed speaking and training, I help professionals and institutions better understand post-separation coercive control, its intersection with family court proceedings, and opportunities for more informed institutional responses.
TAKE THE NEXT STEP
You don't have to figure this out alone.
_________________________
The skills and strategies needed to navigate family court in the context of ongoing coercive control can be learned.
If you're navigating family court after separation and want a more organized, informed, and strategic approach, let's discuss where you are, what you're trying to accomplish, and what support may be appropriate.
TAKE THE NEXT STEP
You don't have to figure this out alone.
_________________________
The skills and strategies needed to navigate family court in the context of ongoing coercive control can be learned.
If you're navigating family court after separation and want a more organized, informed, and strategic approach, let's discuss where you are, what you're trying to accomplish, and what support may be appropriate.